Confidence Man

"My mama loves me, she loves me. She gets down on her knees and hugs me. She loves me like a rock. She rocks me like the rock of ages and she loves me."

He was a new man. Or maybe he was merely reborn. People would look at him and wonder what exactly had changed. Was it a new hairstyle? Nope, same unruly, uncontrolled cut. New glasses? No it wasn't a vision problem. Had he grown somehow? Only in immeasurable ways. No one could quite figure it out, yet everyone knew he was somehow different.

"When I was a little boy and the Devil would call my name. I'd say 'now who do... Who do you think you're fooling?'"

He now walked with a bit of a swagger. People clung to him like a wet diaper. They expected answers, innovations, and all that leadership entailed. He always claimed he was but a simple man, but no one listened. They expected more, expected him to give them a sense of direction.

He wasn't always this way. He was once somehow different. He had taken his privileges, his blessings to a new height. And fate smiled upon him. He had gotten further, much further than was fair, than where he expected to go. He was on some kind of a roll.

"When I was grown to be a man and the Devil would call my name. I'd say 'now who do... Who do you think you're fooling?' I'm a consummated man. I can snatch a little purity. My mama loves me, she loves me."

People seemed to like him. They may not have exactly understood where he was coming from, or what was important to him, yet they seemed to like him nonetheless. There were exceptions of course. Those that ended up closest somehow always seemed the farthest away.

"If I was the President the minute the Congress would call my name. I'd say 'who do... who do you think you're fooling?' I've got the Presidential Seal. I'm up on the Presidential Podium."

One day he finally shared his secret. In the beginning he was a lucky kid but his luck ran dry. Then suddenly a mirror appeared and she gave him, among much else, a lucky rock. He clung to that even after she disappeared. He was never able to forget what she taught him, never able to shake what she had given to him. And he held tightly on to that rock through good and bad. If you believe in something long enough and strong enough, mere faith will get you a long ways. More than a pebble, same as a stone, not quite a gem, still, a rock of his own.

One day he lost the rock. He was very distraught and yet he knew it was silly to cling to a good luck charm. So he got by without it. Very well in fact. Still he missed that rock a lot . He wondered if it had somehow managed to find its way home, find its way back to where it came from. He never stopped wondering, never quite could. Would he find it again? Should he keep looking? Miracles happen every day. Reunions happen with uncommon regularity. A rock is forever, passing through time. People lookin' at the big picture, what they want, lose sight of what they already have, what has always been there.

And then one day, his parents invited him over. Days before, they had shook one of their sofas hoping to get some spilled M&M's out of the cushions when a small clump appeared. It was no ordinary clump. It was perfectly shaped, perfectly formed and colored. It was his rock. And they gave it back to him, gave him back hope. A feeling of pure happiness rolled over him. He was a changed man. It showed. Have faith in faith and the disbelief can turn to stone.

"My mama loves me, she loves me. She gets down on her knees and hugs me. She loves me like a rock. She rocks me like the rock of ages and she loves me."

Years of formation, washed upon the shores of Australia, picked for its near perfect palm sized comfort; who knows how long this rock lay. Displaced but passed with affection from one to another, it found its way to St. Paul, Minnesota. Broken knees to broken hearts, yet somehow, this heart of stone, mended but never fully recovered. Rock solid heart of mine.

"Well I'm hangin' on to a solid rock. Made before the foundation of the world. And I won't let go, and I can't let go, won't let go. And I can't let go, won't let go, and I can't let go no more."