The Uncomfortable DJ

You're responsible for providing music for the masses. How do you select the samples you are limited to? What is appropriate in store music?

I was asked to make a hold tape for the business information lines to the Secretary of State. This music is heard by over 700 people a day. How did I make the best tape I could for my audience? What was my selection process?

Initially I wanted to make the cliche hold tape, full of muzak. I myself am starting to dig elevator music. Last week I heard a killer version of Dylan's Bucket of Rain back to back with an instrumental interpretation of Madonna's Papa Don't Preach. Whew, talk about being lifted to another place! Imagine my excitement when I learned this muzak was provided by a company whose job is to play background music for various offices across the land. Where do I sign up?

Think of the challenge: the music has to be pleasant, a background sound, catchy without being too sugary and annoying. That's a hard order to fill. For my tape I originally thought I might try all classical music. But I wanted to give our office a more hip, more up to date, image.

So... I added some jazz to the mix. Couldn't be too far out though, had to be plain enough where people wouldn't notice. I also looked for some "soft' rock that everyone could enjoy. College? MOR? Blandness is an offense in itself.

Another idea then crossed my mind: how's about an all Minnesota artist tape? No way. Somehow a mixture of Dylan, Prince, and the Mats probably wouldn't be acceptable to the vast majority.

Sifting through my clunky collection was a chore in itself. I pulled various records and CDs off the shelf. The next problem was somehow mixing the different genres into a cohesive whole. McCartney ended up next to Mozart, Coltrane next to Sinatra. Perhaps the key was to provide as broad a selection as possible, pleasing as many different people as I could. Depending on when you called, you would hear a piece of great music. No one could complain, no one could find fault with the quality of music. I had created the best damn hold tape ever!

Or so I thought. But I should've known better. You can't please everyone. I was surprised by the first complaint- against a Rachmanioff piano concerto. A classical piece and not a rock song? The next dissenting voice was against the "crying geese" soundof Coltrane and Miles Davis. And not a word about John Hiatt. How do you figure?

So having compiled my version of the best hold tape in the state (296-2803), my next project was a traveling tape for my new car pooling partner. Another hard to know what to include task. Her's is an opinion I value so just a tape of my favorite tunes would not suffice because my choice in music has driven more than a few away. The tape I made for my last car pooling companion was filled with nasty messages, or so she was convinced.

So rather than trying to make a tape for my new driver, I didn't compromise my soul this time; I made a tape I liked and hoped she respects me enough to like it too or at least appreciates the thought that went into the selections. It's good music darn it.