1. Reserved parking and spacious shopping. Wide aisles, so there is no need to worry about bumping into other customers. Fast check out service, no standing in lines!
2. Everyday low prices. No gimmicks- everything is priced to move. A wide variety to choose from everything from Martin Denny to Neil Sedeka and more Donny Osmond records than were actually recorded!
3. One stop shopping. Blow your big shot in your game of pool? How about a really scratched up record to remove your blues? Plus our records come with the bare essentials: no need to worry about that cumbersome packaging- NO INNER SLEEVES!
4. Recent arrivals every Tuesday and Friday! (Be sure to get in quickly while the supply lasts!) In participating locations only.
5. Grubby but friendly sales help, (The sales people no longer wear the masks they used to wear to protect against' black lung disease.)
6. Two words: 'Cities 97!"
7. Best eight track selection in the entire Twin Cities Metro area!
8, Free water!
9. A really fine moldy religious selection!
10. Tired of all those lonely nights? Try our huge selection of Harlequin Romance novels!
NEW FEATURE: WHY I'M BUYING SOMETHING FROM APPLAUSE (or CHEAPO)-
Last summer on my trip west with my sister we had a bet (a CD of our choice) over which state's license plate would be the last one we saw. We discounted Hawaii (although we ended up seeing one early on) so she chose Vermont and the little guy took Mississippi. Tension mounted as one by one the states were crossed off from our list. Sure enough the last two survivors were our two choices. Somewhere in Arizona a beat up Oldsmobile zoomed past us with a Mississippi license plate. Donna called me last week and told me she wanted Eric Clapton's Unplugged because she likes that song, "Tears from Heaven" (which I can't stand because it is a wimpy drippy powerless ballad) so after I'm done with this week's issue I’, marching straight upstairs and fulfilling my side of the bet. Just thought you all would like to know...
Family Values Part Two:
Why were we so successful in our predictions of state license plates you ask me? It runs in the family. I was recently over visiting my 4 year old nephew, Matti. He got a globe for his birthday last May. My sister told me to ask him to find any country. So I says, "Egypt" and without hesitation he turns the globe and points straight to Egypt. "Japan," I barked out. Straight to the homeland, "Kansas" I says. Kansas it is he points to. Thinking I'd outsmart him I say, "Des Moines" and smugly smiling at my sister I look back at young Matt and his lil'finger was smack in the middle df Iowa (although it was closer to Davenport than Des Moines).
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