Tree Fallin' in the Forest

Here's a philosophical question the pundits have pondered for years: if someone says something and no one hears it, do they make a sound?


90% of all life's troubles can somehow be traced back to a problem in communication. Miscommunication is as common as Minnesota snowstorms in March. Wrong as they often are, most people trip and stumble verbally, but it isn't hard to find people who will share their opinions with you on just about any subject at the drop of a penny.


Often he was awoken at night by the sound of falling trees. It was a sound as loud as if the trees were in the same room. The crash echoed for hours after the fall.Big redwood trees, small pine saplings, the snapping of their twigs, the crash of their trunks filled his head with thunder.In his mind's eye he could clearly see someone's face.


Thus the real culprit in the communication gap more often than not is on the other end of the pipeline. More and more it is hard to find someone who has good listening skills. Whereas talking is an active activity, listening takes passive skills, which are much more difficult to develop.


Fewer and fewer children are taught good listening skills. Without good listening skills it's natural to become self centered, focused on how the universe revolves around just the things important to you. The hardest thing to unlearn is that perhaps the world is bigger than that, and perhaps the needs of other people should be considered just once and awhile if for no other reason than common courtesy.


One of my favorite quotes comes from Bill Monroe who once said that he got his best thinking done while other people were talking. It's the interchange of ideas, the collaboration of feelings and thoughts that can spur us and inspire us to get in touch with our own inner voices. Yet how many times have you been in a conversation with someone who looks you in the eye, nods at the appropriate moments and still doesn't hear a word you are saying? Isn't that annoying?


If the simplest of statements can be misunderstood between two people, how is it suppose to survive in front of a mass of people?He found the times he was heard best was when he chose his words carefully and spoke softly. He had to admit he was guilty of not wanting to hear what other's had to say all the time. Good conversation was as rare as an unforgettable musical experience. The occasions they occurred were to be cherished and enjoyed.


To listen to someone means you have to have some kind of interest in what they have to say. Too many times a dialogue consists of people who are so concerned about articulating their own point of view that they don't have the brain space to think about what the other person says. People are used to hearing the perfect sound bite so they are becoming conditioned to respond and think in scripted language that prohibits true communication and thus doesn't require listening.


As our collective attention spans shortens and as our culture is saturated with quick cut images, our ability to focus on other people lessens. Go to a movie, a concert, a play, and it is remarkable that inevitably you will sit near someone who maintains a running commentary with complete disregard for the people around them. It's like people think they are always in their own living room in front of their own television sets and the entertainment in front of them isn't an actual live performance but some show provided solely for their own enjoyment.


Technology doesn't help matters either. With each passing development, the fax machine, the Internet, voice mail, people no longer have to deal with each other face to face and thus the ears become little more than decorative instruments to prop up one's glasses or hang one's earrings.


Even the development and proliferation of CD digital sound over vinyl analog sound plays cynically on people's ability to listen. Now we have sound so clear that the subtle nuances of musical performance are sterilized. More and more everything starts to sound the same. Since everything sounds the same, people take less time to listen and interpret what they hear. This is a scandal, a conspiracy bigger than the Communists contaminating our drinking water with fluoridation.


They sat on a desolate balcony over looking the smoggy city of Los Angeles. Behind them a crazed cat tore apart his suitcase. Down below they could hear the voices from a pickup basketball game. She looked at him from behind her dark shades, puffed on a Virginia Slims and said, "You can talk at me if you want." He was deeply offended.


Those in our company can probably do little to stem the tide of this epidemic. Perhaps though by just being conscious of what is going on, we can all be aware of the problem, and take the time to listen to our customers, our co-workers and those inexplicable voices coming from the middle of the Easy Listening section. Take the time to hear what is being said. At the next concert, movie, play, lecture you attend, don't blabber and offer personal insight or interpretation on what you see until after the show is over. Be aware of the people around you. Be conscious that you are not alone. Do the hardest thing to do these days: listen.