Integrity

Well it's but a month into the new year and I've already modified one of my resolutions. But that's okay. Change is good. Adaptability and flexibility make fine middle names.


I resolved on New Year's Eve that by the end of the calendar year 1995, the Chinese Year of the Boar, I would have some piece of my writing published in a major publication, or if you will, have a major piece of my work published. A lofty ambition indeed, but having just turned the corner past thirty, it was a feat long striven for and seldom sincerely sought. Now that I was a mature adult, it was time to become a serious writer.


Events of this past week may not have entirely squelched that desire but they certainly shed new light on the worthiness of such a goal. I had the fortune to be asked to attend a conference of many of the major Minnesota magazine publishers at the Metrodome Sheraton last Monday. The event itself was quite inspiring. I learned that the printing and publishing industry is the second largest industry (next to manufacturing) in the state and that many fine people are connected with it.


I was there as a clerical worker whose duties it was to help with the registration of the members. I smiled and politely collected the fees due. Many of the people I met were powerful people in their own daily worlds; owners of magazines, publishers, editors and people in charge. I was fortunate after the registration process was completed, to be able to eat lunch and sit next to Craig Neal, the publisher of one of the few magazines I read with any regularity, the Utne Reader.


Mr. Neal commanded the most attention at the table I was at, being the publisher of one of the largest, best known, and most respected Minnesota based magazines. His charisma, knowledge, and education came across very clearly in his conversation. He was the center of the rest of us, obviously quite comfortable and used to being there. I took in the discussion and the unspoken role playing, with great curiosity. I tried to figure out how exactly I fit in. Here was my big chance, a once in a lifetime experience to network with, and impress with my witty repartee', someone who had it in his grasp to alter the very direction of my life.


So I quietly snarfed down my cheesecake.


I was a bit disappointed at the conversation that swirled on around me. The arrogance and elitism hovered as clearly as the clanking noises of goblets and fine china. Many of these people seemed to have little connection with every day concerns that probably confront their readers. Indeed, personally they made me feel every bit the lowly state clerical person who somehow managed to seat himself at this high powered conference in their world. Was I being paranoid? To a degree. Was this going to be a bit much on the old self esteem? Quite possibly.


But as the conversation turned to the common concerns each of these high powered people faced (the cost of printing on recycled paper; potential tax increases facing the industry; the danger of changing too fast for one's audience; the cost of magazines in Germany) a strange sense of pride swept through me. I didn't have to take a back seat. My problems were certainly just as bothersome as any of their's. I just about blurted out that I was the editor of the finest newsletter in the state and felt like asking them all in all seriousness, if any of them had seen my work. More cheesecake. As the back patting moved on, I really felt like I didn't need heed to the inferiority that should have been inherent in the situation. My work, my writing means as much if not more to me than anyone I observed in the room, and in the end, that means just as much as circulation or profits.


As the lunch ended and the publishers congratulated themselves, I hustled out of the room feeling slightly smug, and a lot more satisfied with where I was at in my own world. One of the leading critics of my work has suggested that my writing is too personal to have any type of universal appeal. This is of course a concern, because like any other writer, I want my work to be read and enjoyed by as many people as possible. Since most of my work these days is for the newsletter and this may not be a major publication, and the writing we do here might not be any more than an individual catharsis, nonetheless I don't think it can be said we suffer from the ills of trying to be too popular or that we have lost our self in self congratulatory elitism. This isn't exactly brain surgery, but that's the very point, we don't need to be.


The same thing might be said for our company. The issues we as an organization face as we move forward, as we face new and bigger challenges, as we decide our direction at the same time trying to survive in an increasingly competitive market, can be difficult and it can be easy to lose ourselves in the chaos itself. But as long as we keep on recognizing the services and products that make our stores unique; keep on identifying and doing whatever we can do to best meet the needs of our customers, we can consider ourselves a success. We may not reach the sales totals of larger corporations, but we can take pride in what we do provide and the uniqueness of our identity.