Meek as a Mouse

Who better than I to give advice to a soon to be married couple? After all, I have the experience, having been married six times and currently working on two others. When it comes to marrying, I ain't exactly meek. You can't be. Actually some of my best friends are married. And my other is a cat. But I'm a people person and the commitment of marriage is the ultimate people experience.


Let's see, let us start with the basics shall we? Maybe it's just me, but I think it best when you can marry someone named Shirley. I'm not sure why that is, I've just found it to be one of life's few truths. Truth, that's a good start for any couple. And believe me, you can learn all you need to know by a person's name. You give your heart to a woman with a man's name, and that's when the wacky fun begins.


My most romantic? That's easy, it had to be on my Trip with Stephanie I, in Vegas, we had the room, there were plenty of chapels, and we both had an affection for Elvis. Frisky feelings that are forever felt. The alternative is to do the opposite, go the way of the old country, where marriages are often arranged, even better than the best employment service.


The big question of course, is how you decide that the person you are with is the one you want to always be with. Just when you think you know a person, you find out about that sixth toe. The mystery of the future has kept more than one heart beating. Take if you will, my infatuation with Tonya Harding, which has simmered a bit. Despite the cooling off of feeling, (the bad girl has been tamed and put in her place) who knows what is around the corner? Rough and tumble, ready to rumble. Healthy knees, another key to any good marriage.


You won't find a person's wedding date on any resume. After all the cake is eaten, after all the booze is consumed, after all the gifts are opened and the thank you notes, written, the quiet solitude ("My God what have we done?!), inevitably sets in. For some people that's good. They are the one's who care, share, nurture and grow. For others, it's like continually dancing in a figure of eight, don't know if they're coming or going, early or late. Round and round that little ring they go.


And it is cute the way couples can become more and more like each other. Dad doing laundry? Get out! Mom driving with Dad down to Branson, the country capital of the world? Who would have believed it? A friend sometimes moans to me a bit about her hubby, yet she does it with affection, and deep down you know, without him she'd be lost, somehow incomplete. And that, I guess, is what it really is all about.


Actually, one of my fondest experiences in life was at my brother's wedding. It was a cold December day, a huge gathering and somehow with all the hustle and bustle, a nice little ceremony broke out. And at the reception, I brought down the house with my "Top Five" list which included the gem, "It is the only time you'll hear the words, 'best man', and my name used in the same sentence." After which my brother patted me on the back, and I knew the day had gone the way he hoped.


June of course, is ideal for marriage, what with it being the month that has Flag Day. It is the perfect time to recite the vows of teamwork, a partnership, a common goal, hope of deliverance. Love is such a wonderful concept, I can think of worse fates. No matter how cynical one can grow with the passing years, to see two people succeed at one of life's hardest but most rewarding endeavors, is always inspirational. To see two people that managed to find each other, is something to behold. So, to all of you couples in love, I salute you. Hugs and kisses from Tonya and I. We sincerely send you our best.