Esteem More than a Dream

(Editor's Note: After reading the analysis, the eulogies about the greater meaning of the act, it became clear that Kurt Cobain's death triggered a myriad of generational self doubt issues, learning how to cope, concerns. With that in mind we present the following.)

Today's teens are suffering from an epidemic of low self esteem, an expert on human psyche recently reported.

"Teens are more apt to have lower self-esteem these days, because expectations and pressures on American kids are higher than ten years ago," Elissa Benedek, professor of psychiatry at the University of Michigan Medical School, Ann Arbor said. "And those expectations keep going up every year."

A rapidly changing society is causing many parents to become perplexed at how to communicate with today's youth. Yesterday's twelve step methods are leading many into a swampy quagmire of angst, as negative thoughts prevail like the mighty but tiring oak facing the stiff spring breeze while its bark peels from within from gnawing insects.

"Good parents spend as much time working on their own self-esteem as they do trying to build their kids'," Dr. Ron Taffel said.

Dr. Taffel is the director of Family and Couples treatment, Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy, in New York City. "The topic of how parental self-esteem affects children is, frankly, one that makes me nervous. Theoretically parents are supposed to have rock solid self-esteem to raise healthy kids. But in fact, no one I know, feels one hundred percent secure."

Even the healthiest are having a hard time coping with day to day activities. Take for example a typical warehouse employee, who recently had his feelings hurt by an off the cuff remark from a small child. This employee was busy pricing green tag records when the child waddled up to him, spit at his feet and said, "You butt ugly."

Thus Generation X'ers are facing attack from both sides of the spectrum. "Often times its the upcoming generation that causes an equal amount of stress. It's hard to compete with youth, and out of the mouth of babes sometimes the truth falls." Dr. E.D. Adeam, director of the Institute for the Societal Dysfunctional and Emotionally Ravaged said. "But self pity, self confidence, self esteem, they all come from the self, from within. You can let others influence that part of you, but the self ultimately decides."

Meanwhile teens themselves say that stressing the positive helps promote healthy self esteem. "Even if a kid isn't the best in school or sports, pick out something else they're good in," said Kathy, an 18 year old. "It might even be that your kid is easy to talk with."

"Get us involved in activities," said 17 year old John. "It'll help us determine what we're good at, which always helps you feel good."

Dr. Adeam said that in the face of distress, plugging away is often the best way to cope. "Being called butt ugly hurts, but what's the point in letting it ruin your day? A healthy person would ask themselves do I believe the statement? And if so, why do I give merit to a toddler's opinion? An unhealthy individual might slam his foot down, stomp off and find himself in some strip joint at the end of the day."