Body of Evidence

What do you do when you have your first day off since 1992? With a friend’s advice, Whizzer decided to go see a movie. It was a great opportunity to see one of the movies he had meant to see but just hadn’t had the energy or the time. Unfortunately most of the movies in 1992 fit that bill.

Seeing the reason he was off was because of Martin Luther King Day, Whizzer decided to see "Malcolm X" for politically motivated reasons. However he discovered it was only showing in one theater in St. Paul, and for one show only. He checked his social calendar and say he couldn’t make it. He also knew that at his advancing age, any three hour movie that began after 8:00pm, he had nochance of staying awake for the entire show.

He then went for the next logical choice: Madonna’s "Body of Evidence". A picture made in the same spirit, wink wink… He had read nothing but harsh reviews of the movie. Walking in and purchasing his ticket, Whizzer looked at the other people around him. Based solely by their appearance (and what would MLK say to that?) he felt like he was attending an X-rated show with a bunch of Paul Reuben wanna be’s.

As the movie unfolded, he discovered one thing: the reviews had more to do with the popular Madonna bashing, a new pastime, rather than with the actual quality of the movie itself. It’s a movie, Whizzer thought, on par with many movies he had seen over the course of many hours in the dark.

The movie reminded him of last year’s "Basic Instinct", a movie he did not enjoy at all. "Body of Evidence" was slightly better only because William Dafoe is a better actor than Michael Douglas, and although Sharon Stone our Madonnaed Madonna, the difference in roles is minimal. Their parts require them to look good, which they did. Easy on the eyes, Whizzer thought.

Despite what his friend, Peggy said about the sex scenes, (they’re so hot) a.k.a. "the good parts", he thought the strength of the picture was in the court scenes. The judge had such a fresh attitude. Besides, there was nothing in the "good parts" he had not seen many times before. The prosecuting attorney, played by Joe Mategna, elevated the movie to another level. Dafoe and Madonna did their part to generate some excuse to keep watching.

The weakest part of the movie was the ending. Like so many movies made in Hollywood, the conclusion seemed like an after thought, something tacked on just for the sake of stopping the movie. Chances are, "Malcolm X" didn’t have the same problem. Of course, the real criminal had to pay in the end. And while it was clear what motivated the characters to do what they did, what motivated the people who made the movie? Was it just money? Nah, that was a cheap shot, Whizzer thought; he refused to be that cynical. He recalled a quote from another movie of a while back, paraphrasing the famous line muttered to Jake: "Forget her Jake, it’s only a movie."