1. The Riots- A symbol of a crumbling society (the fall of the Roman empire was caused by internal strife," R. O’R.) where out of desperation we almost turned to that paranoid little tyrant H. Ross, and where we finally put that twerp (Danny BOY) back on the streets, or in his case, the country club where he belongs.
2. Night 5 of 5 nights in ecstasy with Bob Dylan. "Every Grain of Sand" and "Visions of Johanna?” Get out Man!
3. Best Release: Dylan's Good As I've Been To You (an obvious choice but could there be another?) To hear him sing "Frog Went' A-Courtin" (ah hah)- Get out Woman! Consolation Prize: L7's Bricks Are Heavy, "The Pentagon turns us on."
4. Best Song: Shakespear's Sister's "I Don't Care". Want to hear what life is really about? Consolation Prize: Consolidated's "Infomodities.” Want to hear what politics is really about?
5. Best Movie: A League of Their Own. Who would have thought the merger of two of my loves, Madonna and baseball, would also include Tom Hanks muttering the line, "Baseball players don't cry."
6. Best Book: I forget the title but it had a silver metal cover and a whole bunch of pictures of naked people on the inside.
7. Best TV Show: The Simpsons. Hey, did you know they're just cartoons?! Consolation Prize: The Howard Stern Show. (RIP) Made from the finest things in nature.
8- Best Business Move: The Newsletter. Consolation Prize: A1 finally fulfilling his vision of the ultimate store, Landfill Records. Next year perhaps he will realize another dream, the combination sushi bar/bait shop-
9. Best News: Kirby re-signs, Winnie signs, Westie is gone, and Herbie has another beer.
10. Worst News: The Catholic Church caving in to public pressure and admitting Galileo might have had a point after all.
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