What to Do When Jerry Leaves

It was one of those cold and windy spring mornings, the perfect type to do a load of laundry. So I was flipping around the TV dial hoping to find a baseball game. No such luck. Even worse was there was a soccer game on. What's the deal with that? This isn't rural Albania, it's America where baseball is our national pastime. Now I realize the game isn't exactly at the height of its popularity but it deserves more respect than being ignored in favor of that other so called sport.

So I was forced to turn to contemplation. And in the end it all may turn out to be a show about nothing. Not that there's anything wrong with that because the nothing adds up. Life is nothing if not rather temporary. You go from one place to another bumping into people here and there that somehow manage to touch you. And more often than not you don't let them know that you appreciate what they bring into your life even just in passing. A smile here, a kind word there can reach you no matter how far gone you can be now and again. Deep down you hope trying your best means that occasionally you do the same for others.

And if you are not a firm believer in fate it doesn't necessarily mean that your destiny has not been determined. I knew someone once who was a good pigeon psychologist but it never meant that she didn't have a point. And it's taken me this long to understand that and to learn to forgive her for her human nature. She may be gone for good but that doesn't mean I can't still wear her shoes to get me to wherever it is I need to go. We shared plenty of movies but in the end the long walks were more cinematic. Just like the other day when I was seated on my front steps waiting for my ride to arrive. Max was behind me looking out the front window perched on the living room couch. Two attractive joggers jogged by and they slowed down as they were in front of my house. They smiled and I smiled back until I noticed I wasn't the one they were smiling at. It was the kitty in the window.

Not knowing much about anatomy (especially from personal experience) I do know enough to realize that having a big heart often leads to an enlarged liver. Thinner lines have stood waiting for the next Sandra Bullock movie. Even my fellow members of altruism anonymous need an anesthetic now and then to remain so blissfully sublime. I once went out with a woman who ended up breaking my pancreas. Ouch. Now it's harder to feel the same things because I'm not using the proper organs. It's taken some difficult lessons but I've learned there are two different ways to feel. One is by touch, through the nerves as felt by the skin. The other is the moody type- the kind that can swing higher than those metal contraptions we used to use on the playground trying to see who could get their feet closer to the sky.

Yaddi Yaddi Yadda. I'm a guy who enjoys flavored creamer in his morning coffee. I especially appreciate the variety of choices on the market: butter pecan, amaretto, french vanilla. The newest innovation has been offered by International Delight who put a little plastic spout on the side from which to pour. What's up with that? This company has begun an advertising campaign showing a woman having difficulty opening the old fashioned milk carton, ending up spilling all over her business attire. Now I may be a sucker for just about any sales pitch but come on. I remember milk time in elementary school and even the dimmest of us seldom had any trouble opening the carton. There would be an occasional dork who opened the wrong end without the arrow and thus had some trouble, but I don't remember anyone spilling all over themselves. Just occasionally squirting the milk out their nose.

Talk about need for coffee. It's replaced sleep in my life as one of the things that keeps me up and upright. Recently people at my work have commented on my frame of mind as they have perceived it to be. Accurate it or not I must admit I've been a bit lethargic as of late. More frustrated than irritated I have tried my best to remain focused on the task at hand and as those who know me have come to understand having a coherent thought isn't always my strongest suit. But I'm not so inwardly tuned not to have noticed a co-worker whom I have gained a lot of respect for and from whom I've learned a thing or two. She quietly goes about her job without complaining, always with a smile on her face and the sweetest giggle I've ever heard. You wouldn't know by looking but these past few years have been a rough time for herself and her family. Two years ago she suffered through a painful eye problem that required surgery to repair. Shortly after she returned she had to have her gall bladder removed and was subsequently diagnosed with Lymes disease which kept her at home for a long spell. She came back and then her daughter had a serious car accident where life was touch and go and the recovery since has been a day to day struggle. I noticed this past week that this co-worker was hobbling around and I asked her why (as if it were any of my business). She told me it was her arthritis caused by the Lymes disease. My heart goes out to her because one would hope at some point things wouldn't be so hard. Yet I don't even know if she sees it that way. Faith is a rather introspective thing.