Inside the Gaze of Mr. Max

There was a recent urge, not quite a desire for the student to return to school and further his education. Thus this past week he began, at the University of Minnesota, a five week course called Managing Human Behavior which put to rest any notions of his returning to school on a regular basis, at least for a while. The whole academic environment thing was a bit too painful to return to. Nonetheless he thought how part of him would forever remain the perpetual student. He doubted those dreams of his college days or heaven forbid, high school days, would ever completely go away. Besides he thought, one doesn't need the formalities of academia to realize that in life we are all constantly learning if for no reason than to survive in a rapidly changing world. And on top of that all of his closest siblings were teachers.

So after class this past week he returned to his humble little abode to the wise if not vacant face of his little kitty. The student told Max all about what he learned that night, what was covered in class and what was to be covered in upcoming weeks. He learned that one cannot motivate another person, only inspire them to motivate themselves. He also learned there are no answers only responses.

Max looked up at the student as one who hadn't been fed his dinner yet. It was at that moment the student decided to finally put those tens of thousands of dollars invested in his history degree to use. He began to explain to Max what a historical time they were living in to help the cat appreciate the significance of their tiny little lives in this momentous age. And to put to use his recent foray into the Japanese language, he decided from now on to call his little friend Mr. Maximoto. (It didn't make any sense of course, but Max was quite used to accepting his roommate's eccentricities by now.) "Mercy," the student said for no apparent reason, once again using his favorite expletive.

The history lesson began. The student balanced Mr. Maximoto on his lap, stroked his fur and told the cat all about the train they were on, gathering speed careening and caroming toward the 21st Century. The student explained the train was now crossing the bridge being built into the next millennium which wouldn't slow down enough to catch one's breath let alone realize and appreciate the time they were lucky enough to be living in.

The changes, the advances, the setbacks, all seemed to be occurring at exponential speed. The student told Mr. Maximoto how the industrial age gave way to the technical age which led to the information age. From the rise of the Great Wall of China to fall of the Berlin Wall, from the first man on the moon to flying toasters on everyone's personal computer they had seen a remarkable amount of earth shattering events. The student told Mr. Maximoto to forget for a moment about catnapping near a forced air heating vent. Things were changing so fast that they forced themselves to catch the evening news every night just to know if the world was going to end that night. During Mr. Maximoto's short little lifetime, he was witness to some breathtaking historical advances.

As an example, the student recalled how when they first started rooming together Mr. Maximoto used the standard kitty litter, the kind where you dumped a bunch in his litter box, he did his business and when it all got too smelly the student had to empty it into a garbage bag all the while choking on the fumes of ammonia and those other tear producing smells. No more. Now with clumpable litter the student merely scooped out the product after Mr. Maximoto had a sit down and the rest of the litter remained fresh for his next visit.

Another recent advance made this chore even easier. For Christmas, Mr. Maximoto's grandparents bought him "The Perpetual Litter Sifting System" which comes in three slotted trays. After Mr. Maximoto is finished with his duty, the student merely lifts the top tray which sifts the unused litter down into the bottom two trays and leaves the clump solitary and ready for disposal. "We have advanced light years in the area of kitty excrement disposal. This is a marvelous age we are in," the student said to his now sleeping kitty. "It's like we're a traffic cop to the speeding world going by, trying to decide if the conditions are safe enough to be going so fast. Managing human behavior? Inspiration? Motivation? They're just down the street, thousands of light years and miles away. Mercy, Mr. Maximoto, mercy..."