Kitty in the Mirror

Max the Cat loves to scamper from window to window in the house and watch for any cats who wander into his yard. Whenever he spots one he prances from window to window, his tail starts flapping and he lets out a sound that is more like a gargle than a growl. So during a lull in his day, sometimes I will bring him into the bathroom and show him the kitty in the mirror. This is an attempt to teach him to love his fellow feline, that the cute kitty in the mirror is as lovable and harmless as those wildcats lurking outside his windows. However for whatever reason he refuses to look at the kitty in the mirror. He look all around, at the lights, at me, at the floor, at the soap supply, but he will not look at his own handsome reflection.

I suppose somewhere in this tale there is a moral about looking at one's self before casting negative thoughts on the rest of the world. I think Michael Jackson even wrote a song about that once. "I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer. If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change."

As a kid I shared Max's view of the world. I remember I would scowl at my neighbor friends who dared to come into our yard and play on our swing set and jungle jim without first seeking permission. Was it my own insecurity, my own selfishness that was the root of the dispute or was it their actual trespassing that was the problem? How dare they have fun without me. It's always harder to accept the responsibility to correct your own ways rather than blame everyone else for the things that don't go right in your day.

One of the learning experiences of the past couple of weeks from starting at a new job has been watching how different offices work and do not work. This has come both from my experiences at my own new "home" office along with the training I have received at other off-site locations. In the past I have been accused of being something of a cynic. Yet as I travel around and meet people who have become settled in their jobs I have more and more become a person who may be a bit cranky, but I do keep an open mind, and the belief that things can work with a little enthusiasm and positive thinking. I don't have much interest in office gossip and personality clashes when they interfere with the work that needs to get done. We each have our ways of working and trying to get things set up so that we can succeed. Sometimes these routines and beliefs can conflict with others in the organization. At some point it is useful to be able to acknowledge your own reflection, your own faults and weaknesses and work on the things within that you can change rather than try to change those around you- always a tenuous task.

Being the "new" person is a stressful situation especially if you are not starting at the bottom rungs of the organization. People can be leery of you simply because they think you are going to change the ways they have gotten used to doing things. Some people do walk into a job and with little input from the people who have done the work, change things to be setup the way they want things setup. This may be the very reason they were hired, but often it can be a big mistake- alienating the other employees, causing mistrust and inefficiency where none existed before.

People adapt to change on their own terms. Some can't let go of the way things once were. Some people want change at all costs. For the most part accepting change and adapting is what makes us learn. It is what helps us grow. Even Max will someday have to learn there are an awful lot of other kitties out there and despite his protests, he has to coexist with his competition no matter how frustrating that may be.