New and Old Alliances, Green Roast Beef and No Popcorn

As the world turned, the moral of the never ending story, the effect of all this on those of you with Albert Einstein hair, as reported in the seven part series of New York Times articles on the downsizing of America was that without balance and equilibrium one not only never knew where one stood, but also never knew where one should stand. One could even go as far as saying without balance, one might not be able to stand at all. It's rare to find or replace the one who can be moved to tears, who feels the undercurrent of significance by a visit to a Southern Plantation. And loyalty? The only one to be loyal to was yourself. To expect, to assume others will appreciate something you might have accomplished yesterday, or even something you may be capable of doing tomorrow, or heaven forbid, something you are doing today, takes a blind leap of faith, the close your eyes and hope for the best, variety.

On the same day that the foundation that you had been trying to build for the last few years began to show some definite cracks, you had the luck to strike up a new friendship, someone with her heart in the right place. A long distance runner, a realist that could help return you to where you ought to have been all along. She reminded you just how much you had been missing at the same time she was shining a different light and perspective on where you had been and where you might be going. You enjoyed your conversation, limited as you made it, because it was the old fashioned kind, not focused on where your conversation had been for too long. Miracle Whip vs. Mayonnaise. Balance.

As irony would have it, later that night you would see someone from the past, and the still open, but not recognized as such, wounds were soothed as you actually had a decent enough conversation with her, decent enough to remember why you found her in the first place. You put the hard feelings aside, if only temporarily and looked at her like you used to look at her. Cars and dogs. The words didn't come easy as they never did, and they never did last. The meek shall inherit something, somewhere down that long and winding road. For some time you hadn't seen the sun peek out from behind the clouds, now on the same day you got to see both the sun and the moon. The balance had shifted, the foundation was false and the feelings remained. And it all seemed sort of dangerous.

They never suspected and you never could share. You decided to keep your head down, do your best, try your hardest, and celebrate any small triumphs along the way. Were you doing well or were you pretending? You can't be inspired only by policies and procedures and the rigid structure of so called security. You just as soon realized a lot of it was out of your control, out of your grasp as your own faith so often depends on someone else. You hope you have a choice, you believe in choices, the direction of things to come. You have always left yourself with at least two choices and as you look back you are often amazed that choices aren't momentary, they often linger longer than they are supposed to. But you aren't sure what those choices are and you may not even have any choices or may be looking at the wrong series of choices and the past catches up to you just as the future seems within your sight. Present? It's a gift. Anatomy of the story? Keep your head, check your heart and keep your feet moving at all times.

The day you had been waiting for, looking forward to for so long, is finally but a week away. Now uncertainty comes to the forefront of the mix, the balance, and you really aren't sure how it all is going to land. Certainly an end to one chapter and hopefully a beginning to a new one.