Another Forest in the Tree

My mama told me "Life is like a box of chocolates. It's hard to find anyone who'll eat the coconuts." Mama had a way of putting things that would make sense.


As a friend, the one who says she has a dog with a man trapped inside its body, goes off to Chapel Hill to begin her graduate studies, I'm reminded that life is about constant change, a continual learning experience, full of wonder and opportunities. You never know what will spring up or who you will meet down the road. And literally alls ya gotta do is keep walking. Yet often times it is those that you are most familiar with, the routine, the one's that you continue to come home to, that help you sleep at night. And it's hard to turn away from that comfort, no matter how distant it becomes. I can be the jealous type and I am jealous of what she has ahead of her. That said, I truly hope she finds all she is seeking. I console myself knowing she'll always be with me- I guess. At least in my heart and dreams.


Another friend jokingly told me she is taking Prozac for her ulcer. I guess that is one way to deal with it; sort of a circular cure, but a cure nonetheless. I like that. I like the way she looks at things. Whatever it takes. She has nice shoes. Sometimes you have to bounce off obstacles before you find the right route. But it's important to keep the eyes open. Keep bouncing, keep moving, keep trying, keep the options open.


This friend also said the funniest thing I've heard this summer. "I didn't use to like alcohol very much, but now I can't get enough." Sometimes you meet someone that says something like that and you take an immediate liking because you know exactly what they mean. Free t-shirts and a bloody Mary.


It's funny how you always somehow manage to find people you can relate to, that you somehow already know, yet are somehow new and fresh; and as you grow older you feel as if you want to offer personal history and pass it off as wisdom and insight. You want to feel as if you still have something to offer and when you feel that, it feels good. Mama said if you haven't been there before, you won't be there again. I guess that's one thing my life has proven. My friend said the dictionary defines the term living death as "life emptied of joys and satisfaction." Been there. Look it up and you'll find my brave face. But I'm blessed and eternally thankful that I kept on bouncing, kept on runnin, kept on listening to those around me and you know, you just never know...


Sometimes in life, you have to be patted on the head, recognized for the efforts you make. As a little boy, I used to watch this certain fella, Capn' Bud, in fascination. I guess you could call him a hero, a role model. He would stand on the sidelines with an icy glare, expression never changing as all hell broke loose in front of him. His stoicism hid deeper thoughts, masked his emotions. You couldn't read him. And I thought that was cool, that it was ideal to remain a mystery, inscrutable, never let 'em know what you're thinking. Never offer more than you have to.


Capn' Bud was recently honored, inducted into an exclusive club. At the ceremony, he broke down in tears, and for once, the mask came off. As he stood emotionally naked, I saw another side I always wanted to see. Complexity in its rawest form. Yet for some of us, once the mask comes off, the fear is there will be nothing there to find. I could never convince my friend, the one with a man talkin dog, that I was but a simple man. I do think she thought I was too stupid to know about love, but I was just stupid enough.


You change as you grow older. A recent local hero, Big Herbie, performed his occupation with more enthusiasm, a goof ball that played a game just like a little boy. He seemed to be having so much fun, so when he announced his retirement because his body was falling apart and he wasn't having fun anymore, it added an additional layer of sadness to an already melancholy announcement. His message was that although it all may all seem like a business, the attitude you take is what really makes the difference. I'll miss the big guy, miss him a lot.


But life don't stop for no one. We're all here for such a short time. My mama told me never to take anything or anyone for granted. You don't know what you got till it's gone. It may not seem like it, because there are so many reminders, but every one of us is an individual; unique in our own way; special in what we have to offer to the mix. You never know who you'll run into and what role they will play. Mama said that we're all different, and because we're all different, that makes us all the same. The more you begin to realize that alone as we all might feel, life is about sharing. It's like a big old smelly shoe, sometimes it stinks but it's what's gotta get you where you want to go.